西语助手

How many of you are on Instagram?

Okay.

Did you see that they changed their logo this week?

Did you notice that?

Yeah. Here's the original one, and then this is the new one.

They thought the original one looked old, and as we all know, looking old is the worst thing that can happen to anybody.

A lot of millennials are freaking out about it.

Which, might seem ridiculous to older people but remember how upset we all got when they switched Darrins on Bewitched.

That was really frustrating to us.

You can't just do that.

Thanks to Instagram, now every day has its own different hashtag.

It used to be simpler.

Like people were sad on Monday and they were happy on Friday and on Wednesday we would hump.

Now, today, I thought I would actually teach you about the different Instagram days because I am young and hip.

And I know what the kids are up to and down with and I Netflix and chill.

And I know what Fetty Wap means.

And I do alcohol.

And I know about Instagram.

So today's is Monday.

So you're supposed to post a picture of a guy that you have a crush on.

It's called Man Crush Monday.

This is a tough one for me because.

I haven't had a real man crush since about 1974, but I did come up with a perfect guy for this one.

He's young, he's handsome, he has amazing hair.

Not Harry Styles! It is my puppy, Kid.

Aw. I have a crush on my puppy. #Adorable.

Now Tuesday is known as booze day, which I think it's always been.

Wednesday is woman crush Wednesday.

Now we're talking.

Obviously mine would be Portia.

But some people post pictures of women that they fantasize about like my writer Troy posted this sexy green M&M.

That's who he fantasizes about. You have to know Troy really.

Then I think everybody knows it, throwback Thursday.

And then Friday they call flex day Friday.

You post a picture of yourself after you go to the gym.

I didn't go to the gym so

I'm gonna just show you a shirtless picture of tWitch because that's.

That's pre Magic Mike, that's before you really . . . Yeah that was the day right there.

That i waxed you? Yes, that was the day I waxed you.

Yeah, what happened after that, yeah that was the last time i smiled for that day, that was it.

So, Saturday, I think, is my favorite.

Saturday is Caturday they call it, so you post pictures of cats.

So I mean, like for example this one here.

I know.

Or this one here. Or this one here. Or this one here. I could do this all day.

One more. There.

Okay, this is why I don't have time to go out on Caturday nights.

Because I'm home.

But here's the thing.

I don't think that you should have to stick to these themes.

I mean you can make up your own.

For instance, Kim Kardashian decided that on every day that ends with a y, she posts a naked selfie.

That's what she does.

And for me, every day is #dancingday.